Spacing out
2023-05-13

Do you ever feel like you have a hard time thinking. Like, even when just spacing out, do you ever have a hard time making a concrete chain of thought, and getting past that initial protothought that poofed into existence? I'm honestly surprised I was able to think these sentences this far before writing them down on the page. For the past few weeks or months, I've noticed more and more that I feel like I'm having writer's block, but I'm not even a writer. I feel like I'm not doing any thinking of any kind. I'm watching the days go by in a way I have never done before, and in a way that I never thought I would do.

Ignorance is bliss, but only when you're not aware of it. I need some meta-ignorance.

I feel useless and lost. I don't really see myself being a part of something large. I don't see myself building anything. I feel like my days aren't compounding. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm not sure if that's a problem.

I feel like I'm writing this as a substitute for feeling like I've done something today.